He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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