This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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