My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
