you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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