there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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