i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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