this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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