dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
