thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
