And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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