My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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