i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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