Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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