Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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