I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
