you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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