There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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