I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
