Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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