I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
