I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize