She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Randomize
