Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
