Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
