how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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