I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
