I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
