why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
