batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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