i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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