is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
