thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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