Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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