i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
