Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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