he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
