i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
