I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
