i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
