Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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