doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
