so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
