I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
