we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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