We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
