...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's never too late to be topless.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
