It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
