We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
