It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
