There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
