If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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