it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
