We named our party play list daddy issues
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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