you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
