There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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