The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize