I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
