Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
