I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I will be naked everywhere
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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