I just saw a hot homeless man
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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