dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
