After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
