ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
