last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There's always time for handjobs
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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