i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
