didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
